Self Critical vs. Realistic

I have heard once or twice people comment that I, myself or others are "self critical". The follow up to a so deemed "S.C." comment is usually "No you're not!", " Don't say that!" or "You are too hard on yourself". Now while sometimes these comments are warranted (most often at the end of the day, or when my blood sugar is low)...I think a lot of time people need a reality check. I am a 'perfectionist realist', not to be confused with a real perfectionist or a realistic perfectionist". The first one is a combination like that of oil and water, the second is just a real pain, and the last one is an oxymoron. Un beknownst to some, I have this very perfectionist side of me where I want to be and do everything perfect, there is a constant stress of wanting every moment to be like and ideal opening night except that you've had no practices, and no dress rehearsals, or perhaps missed them somewhere along the line. However, while at the same time my inner desire is to be perfect, I am very much a realist. I know that PATTI PERFECT needs to move her sweet size 6, service oriented, Stanford educated, Seven jean wearing seat out of the way so that REALISTIC Rita can rest her rough around the edges, rude, rebellious, rear end. Now most often neither one of these individuals gets entirely out of the way and you end up with a "big ol' FUNKY mess" called ME! Something to be compared with your "Paint and Swirl Art Machine" exploding. Now hopefully most of the time I end up to be a beautiful array of colors, precise spaced lines, and perfect symmetry. However most often, I'm fully aware it's going to look like a regergitated rainbow, with blobs and shoot offs everwhere and that perhaps some of it will make a recognizable shape but most often it is just going to be deemed as a "good effort".... However, both, some how find their audience and are used, loved, and appreciated, in their own ways. One may bring a smile your face, as it is found crookedly magnatized to the fridge for other friends and family to enjoy. The other may be hanging well balanced, set in a complementary frame, on the wall of a great art gallary for hundreds to appreciate and recieve inspiration from....and whose to say which one is where. I guess my point is that while sometimes people may be self critical, a lot of time is just being realistic. Now does it mean I won't ever become the product of a well working Paint and Swivel Art Machine- NO! Does it mean I'll never be appreciated like Picasso- NO! It just means that I am me, whatever that is. All celulite struting, muffin top rising, service inspired, scripture reading struggling, gospel loving, excercise appreciating, dance imitating, quirky movie line quoting, traffic hating, chips and salsa munching, AI dreaming, nature enjoying, travel fund saving, family playing, bath taking, multi-lingual aspiring ME! So lets get real people! Could I be better? Sure! Should I be better? Of course! Am I trying? Always! Just like everyone else....